Weight Watchers

August 16, 2016

Me: Dammmn, that was good, baby!

Weight Watchers: Was it now?

giphy (1)

Me: Yes, lawd!


giphy (2)

Me: Top ten!

WW: Ten!?


Me: Fih…  Hmm…  Definitely top three!

WW: Really!?

giphy (2)

WW: You happy?

Me: Am I!?


giphy (4)

Me: Seconds?

giphy (1)

WW: LOL.  Can’t.  You know we both got a lot of work to do today.

Me: But… I’m a big boy.  You know I need more than dat!

giphy (1)

WW: Awww!  Baeeee, you are too cute but nawl.  YOU, my love, gotta learn portion control.


giphy (2)

WW: LOL, don’t be like that and pick ya face up.  That ain’t cute haha.

WW: (Goes to wash up).

Me: (Raspy) Hello?

Phone: Jefe?

Me: What up, P?

Phone: What you doin?

Me: Why?

Phone: Cause I’m tryna figure out why you giving me that phone sex voice!

giphy (3)



Phone: You tryna catch a case?  I WOULD sue for sexual harassment, but I need this job – NOT dee pro’lems.

Me: 😤

giphy (2)

Me: P – wha chu’wan?

Phone: Rudddddeeee-duh!  An-ne-way, Vin-ci-ENT!  She messaging you again.

Me: She?

Phone: You got company or summ?  Cause…

Me: Wha?

Phone: Like, why you whispering?  I betta not be on speaker phone!

Me: Who are the messages from, P!?  Who is SHE?  Why you call me?

Phone: Oh, right – Cocoa.

Me: Oh, Word?


Phone: Want me to read them outloud?

Me: Hell nawl!

Phone: I swear, you gotta be with somebody.



Me: P, not right now!

Phone: Oohhh!  Oohh!  Who is it?  You gotta tell me!


giphy (4)

Phone: Please?  On soul, on everything I luh, I promise, I won’t say an-ny-thing.  I swear!


giphy (6)


WW: Huh!  You say summ, bae?

Me: Nah.  Just changing channels.

WW: Okay, I’m finna get in the shower.

Me: I’ll be in there in a minute.


giphy (4)

giphy (5)


giphy (5)

Phone: Ahhh, I get it. Ha-ha-ha!  You at Dub’s.  Play on playa!


giphy (3)

Me: Just show me the message, please.

Phone: And you’d THINK you’d be in a better mood after getting it in…

Me: P!

Phone: Oh, here she go now.  Want me to put her through?


giphy (5)

Phone: Just be careful, okay?

Me: Why you say dat?

Phone: Cause like, you been doing so good lately and I just don’t wanna see you slip up again.

Me: I’ll be straight.  Y’ain got nun to worry bout.


Phone: Hmph!

Me: On everythang, dou!



Phone: Aight… Well, here she go…

Cocoa: Heyyyy Huuuuee-Ey!

giphy (2)



To be continued…


Author: Huey Booker

Huey Booker is a based in Arlington, VA. His work focuses on love, sex, dating, and relationships. You can contact him here.

2 thoughts on “Weight Watchers”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s