Work, Part II

September 6, 2016

Work: I

Me: Happy Anniversary, Baby!

Work: Anniversary?

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Me: You forgot, didn’t you?

Work: I mean… we only been KICKING-IT-tuh for, what, like THIRTY DAYS?

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Me: And, this is day 30.

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Work: …

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Me: I know, right!  I’m excited too!

Work: …

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Me: I thought you were into all this employee engagement stuff.  Ain’t this why you brought me out to lunch in the first place?

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Work: Yeah, so about that…  I’m gonna hit you with the headline.

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Me: Headline?

Work: Focus.  I need you to focus on what I’m saying right now, hm-kay, thanks!

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Me: TF?  Focus?  Focus on you – that’s all we ever do, anyway!

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Work: Look!  Like, it’s been fun hanging out with you or whatever, but this ain’t working out and I need some space… Soooo…

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Me: Space?

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Work: You are really good at repeating things, you know that?

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Me: Man, what chu talmbout?

Work: We’re on a break.

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Me: A break?

Work: Well, that was cute the first time.  What should I say… It’s not you, it’s me.  No, no – that’s too cliche…  Hmm, I think it’s best if we just take some time to… to… sort things out on this here break we’re on.  Yeah, that’s it.

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Me: We.  Just.  Got.  Together!  What do you mean by “break?”  Break from what?  Black people don’t break!  And WHO decided we were on a break!?

Work: Well, first of all, I’m not a real person, remember?  However, you are right about that – I was just being coy, I guess.  And, I did!  Weren’t you listening?

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Me: Look, YOU fought so hard to recruit ME!  I didn’t go out looking for you!  You ran your game and I took a risk starting summ new and all, but I got things in order around here.  I put in all this overtime, making progress, and NOW you gonna just leave me high & dry despite everything I’ve done the last few weeks?  What am I supposed to do now?

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Work: I just.. after all that – my recruiting you or whatever,  I just don’t think we’re a good match is all.  Like, I kinda really only wanted you, because I couldn’t have you, for real.  You looked so good at that other company and when you said yeah to my interview request, I mean, I couldn’t resist, you know?  PLUS, you couldn’t have been so happy after all if you left where you was for me anyway, right?  Like, that’s all on you, na’meen?

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Me: So, I’m fired… just like that?

Work: Crazy talk!

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Me: So, if this ain’t a break…

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Work: Emhmm….

Me: And I ain’t fired…

Work: Right, right!

Me: What is this then?

Work: Downsizing?

Me: What!

Work: A layoff?

Me: Really?

Work: Yeah, think of it more as a… um… temporary job restructuring, but one that’s indefinite.  No, it’s more like a reduction in workforce that’s… possibly temporary, but definitely indefinite.  Yup, that’s exactly what it is.  I like the sound of that – a reduction in workforce!

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Me: Really?  That’s what this is – a reduction in workforce?

Work: Of course!  Well… no, not really.

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Me: (@#$%&!)

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Work: Look, I’ll call you – I promise.  Well, maybe.  It’s possible that I’ll think about… See, it’s easier this way for everyone involved.  Ummm… then again, maybe just me.  It’ll… No, it’ll definitely be easier for me.  HAHA!  See!  I was somewhat honest right there.  You should be proud of me!  You’re rubbing off on me.

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Me: >_<

Work:  I dunno, I tried, bro…  Anyway, don’t forget to tip well.  Thanks for lunch!  Byeeeeeeee!

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To be continued


Author: Huey Booker

Founder, Chairman & CEO of Ostend Stuart.

One thought on “Work, Part II”

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