The Road to Pre-Bae

Jeanine Cruz

Wednesday, 11/8/17

Pre-Bae is your crush.

Last week we discussed how to get on that road to finding your Pre-Bae. What is “Pre-Bae,” you may ask? It’s just someone that you’re getting to know, you’re dating, you’re kicking it with… your crush, the person you want to “swan dive in their DMs” with, as Huey so eloquently puts!

The Road to Pre-Bae is the process of figuring out how to get back on the dating scene, being vulnerable, facing the various challenges, and exposing yourself to the opportunities in front of you. Just remember, you have to take into account that there is a sense of vulnerability when getting back into dating. Figure out your core values, walk in your truth, and discover what it is you truly want on your Road to Pre-Bae.

Remember to be honest with others about your expectations. For instance, if you’re dating multiple people at the same time, give them a heads up so that you’re on the same page with your current date and be honest with yourself about your expectations, as well. Sometimes our very own expectations can be unrealistic and hold us back from finding not only what we truly want, but what we truly need.

“An opportunity for all of us to be honest about who we are and making sure that people understand our expectations, making sure that we set expectations before we enter into any relationship, situationship, whatever – just set your expectations and be honest upfront. That’s always an opportunity.” ~ Trixie

When you live in your truth, experiences begin to change and your circles begin to grow. You start to discover things about yourself that you didn’t even know before, and that opens your dating pool even more on your Road to Pre-Bae! Most of all remember not to take things too seriously and enjoy yourself. Learn to laugh and be fully present in the moment. Happy Pre-Bae hunting!

Three things to take away from Chapter 1v1 of the Book of Huey:

  1. Love your MF-ing self. Live your truth. In every stage of the game, whether you succeed, fail, or fuck up, love yourself immensely. If you love yourself the way you’re supposed to you’ll be graceful, hopeful, merciful, forgiving, and challenge yourself to be your best despite your failures and mistakes.

  2. We all make mistakes and do things we’re not proud of. The biggest part of growth and maturity is to be able to look at yourself naked and accept who you are with every flaw.

  3. Self-love is knowing who you are with sober judgment.

Coming to a #ThirstTrapThursday near you!

The Book of Huey
http://www.TheBookofHuey.com
Love | Sex | Dating | Relationships | Fuckery

Like. Subscribe. Share and MF Connect!
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@TheBookofHuey

#TheBookofHuey #TrixWithTheFix #Confessions #TheRoadToPreBae

 

 

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The Book of Huey Podcast

The Book of Huey Podcast has the pleasure of introducing you to our hosts, Huey Booker and Trixie Summerborn. Though both from Cleveland, Ohio, they didn’t meet and become friends until they connected in the Washington, D.C. area in 2015 when Huey “swan-dived face-first” in Trixie’s DMs. They are now the best of friends, talk all the time, and want to share their conversations with the world.

They have a dedicated aim and focus. “Huey and I have like the best conversations always talking about love, life, sex, relationships,” Trixie said. “I think I have a unique perspective. I’m really excited to meet more people during this process… hear different people’s opinions.”


Huey echoed Trixie’s thoughts in that he’s most excited about the types of conversations that [they’re] going to have and made it very clear that he’s no relationship guru. He likes to talk to people, debate, and probe, particularly about the show’s 5 topics – love, sex, dating, relationships, and all the fuckery in-between. It’s most important to him that The Book of Huey is a “safe ass space where people don’t feel judgement, they don’t feel condemned, and we can just talk about the different lifestyles that are available, the different opportunities that people have.”


They don’t pretend to be relationship gurus. Huey and Trixie are dedicated to speaking from the heart as they live and share from their own personal experiences. For example, Trixie recently decided to take a break from dating because she “really wasn’t meeting the type of men that [she] should be developing life long friendships or even romantic relationships with.” After getting tired of experiencing the same struggles, she decided to take a step back and “change up her circle a little bit” for different results.


Huey actually “recently started dating again” as [he] had a short-lived relationship earlier this year” that didn’t really work out. In his words, there’s no villain to that story, but Trixie adamantly disagrees.


They are passionate about open, transparent communication. We’re all very different people in our likes, preferences, and proclivities, so it stands to reason that our experiences, perspectives, decision making styles, and worldviews would also all be different.


In Huey’s opinion, people “shouldn’t wait until they’re in the midst of a passionate disagreement before they have serious conversations about compromise and their non-negotiables. At this point, it’s too late, especially if emotions are high and everyone involved is on the defensive.


It’s his hope that someone will be listening and hear something on the show that challenges them on a deeper level to find opportunities to engage in these types of dialogues, but in a safe way before there’s a problem in their relationship. 


Be sure to checkout Episode 1v1 – The Road to Pre-Bae at both SoundCloud and YouTube.


Coming to a #ThirstTrapThursday near you!

The Book of Huey
http://www.TheBookofHuey.com
Love | Sex | Dating | Relationships | Fuckery

Like. Subscribe. Share and MF Connect!
Facebook | Twitter | IG | YouTube | SoundCloud | SnapChat | ASKfm
@TheBookofHuey

#TheBookofHuey #TrixWithTheFix #Confessions #TheRoadToPreBae



Pragma

September 30, 2016

Love Isn’t Enough: Eros, Ludus, Philia, Storge

We’ve been writing about love for quite some time now.  In many ways, being diligent and consistent has really helped me to reevaluate a lot of what I thought I knew about love and its many different expressions.  

This week, we’ll be discussing pragma or mature, practical love.  Pragma is about making compromises to help relationships work over time, as well as showing patience and tolerance.  It’s the kind of love that’s practical, mutually-beneficial, and endures through sickness and in health over the long-haul.  As a special surprise, I’m going to introduce our first guest contributor, M. Divine.

Enjoy! Continue reading “Pragma”

Ludus

September 7, 2016

Love Isn’t EnoughEros

So, last week we talked about passionate, romantic love.  This week we’re going to talk about ludus, but I have a slight confession to make.  I kind of cheated.  Ludus is actually Latin and not Greek, but whatever.  It means “play, game, sport, training” and refers to the affection between children or young lovers.

While ludus is about passion, it more so encapsulates the idea of having fun with each other doing different activities.  It encompasses all the teasing and flirting that goes on in the early stages of a dating relationship.  It happens when you both are still testing out what it might be like to be together, falling in love and what not, but that’s where it all ends.  You see, in ludus, there is no commitment or responsibility involved.

Continue reading “Ludus”

Eros

August 31, 2016

Love Isn’t Enough

As I mentioned before, the ancient Greeks were very sophisticated in their understanding of the many different expressions of love.  The first type that we’re going to talk about is eros.  Eros was the Greek god of fertility and, in terms of love, constitutes a passionate, intense, and erotic or lustful desire for someone.  In addition to its strong sexual and emotional components, eros is also marked by compassion, kindness, and consideration, as well as the desire to be emotionally and physically close to your romantic partner.  It is this powerful sexual magnetism that draws two people together in the beginning stages of a new relationship sometimes described as the honeymoon phase.  

Continue reading “Eros”